Boy meets girl, they fall in love and get married. This is how nuptials normally happen.
Not so in lower Kheng of Zhemgang dzongkhag.
Ask Jurmin, 32, from Zangbi village in Phangkhar gewog of lower Kheng. He had to work for three years in his bride’s house as a magpa, before he could formally marry his girl, Jampel Lhadon.
“During those three years, my parents had to prepare for the wedding, which is locally known as shanor,� said Jurmin.
Preparing for shanor means the groom’s parent’s have to fatten three pigs, an ox, store 30 kg of red rice, 30 kg of kharang, about 50 l of alcohol, a few kilogrammes of butter and about 10 balls of cheese.
Then Jurmin’s parents go to the bride place to confirm if her parents accept their son in marriage. “I was so scared that my father-in-law might say no,� recalled Jurmin.
Jurmin said that relatives and friends from the community attended the wedding ceremony or khrungma, which lasted three days. On the third day, Jurmin could take his bride home.
The system of magpa and paying a price for the bride is an existing practice in the Phangkhar, Ngala, Goshing and Bjoka gewogs of lower Kheng, where maize is the dominant crop.
Magpa usually means husband in Bumthap and Kheng but in lower Kheng it is the term used to describe the time period served by a prospective groom for his bride.
“Khenrig Namsum – a historical profile of Zhemgang dzongkhag,â€? by Tenzin Rigden and Ugyen Pelgen has documented the matrimonial culture in lower Kheng and upper and middle Kheng.
“In lower Kheng’s tradition of matrimony, unlike that of upper and middle Kheng, where dowry is a bride price that the groom’s parent’s give on the wedding day, proposals of marriage always come from the boy along with the dowry.� The book also states that people in lower Kheng endorse marriage within their own tribe, which is known endogamy.
Kuensel found out that the magpa system applies only to community members. If the bride is not from lower Kheng or if the groom is a civil servant, he need not follow the custom. “Civil servants can pay in lieu of the magpa custom,� said Mamong tshogpa, Tshering Norbu, said.
Pema, 34, from Lichibi village under Bjoka gewog, said that he didn’t follow the magpa system since he was a civil servant.
The magpa and shanor system, like dowry, has not always been a happy story. Since the marriage was based on payments the boy’s parents could provide, some would-be grooms had to keep working for more than three years.
Ap Fishy, 70, from Bjoka village served 18 years as a magpa before he could get marry his love 30 years ago. “My parents were too poor to arrange dowry and a feast. So I had to wait and work until they were economically prepared.�
Ap Fishy is now a father of three and lives in Bjoka proper in his parental home, a bamboo structure with thatched roof. Ap Fishy intends to keep the tradition alive and wants to see his daughters married to boys who respect his wishes.
“A simple feast would do but he must work for three years as I‘ve got to see if he deserves my daughter,� he said. source: Kuenselonline
